Artwork by Brad Perks - Lightscapes Studio
|
|
Easter
Celebration of Rebirth 2011 - Dreams Detours and Destinations
|
|
|
Napa Valley |
Artwork |
Reflections There are many defining
moments in life that change us
forever, whether we deem good or bad. We relish the good times that
bring us
happiness and inner peace. We replay the bad times over and over in our
mind in
hopes to create a new end result. What could we have done different, we
ask of
ourselves? We are blessed to
have been placed here on this earth to have
our heart and soul tested. The spiritual bodies above look for those
who can
rise up to this challenge. Those with the most to offer, and often the
most to sacrifice,
are laden with the greatest burden to carry; a cross to bear. The truly
gifted
children find their way in the end, somehow never losing sight of
something
more promising to find. They follow an elusive light, ever twinkling in
the
distant skies. The universe beckons up a promise for those who can
persevere.
Multi-dimensional in many ways, the chosen ones seek the truth and
search out
new frontiers. Enlightenment is their reward. Wisdom is their gift to
share In his works, Religions of Life, Brad Perks
captures this journey through time. Darkness and confusion dominate in
the
beginning. Tortured thoughts and overwhelming fears eventually give
rise to the
greatest revelation and beauty in the end. Somewhere over the rainbow
we all
hold on to the notion that our dreams might be fulfilled. Few might
understand
the depths of emotion or the turbulent tides along the way, but all
will wonder
what these pictures portray when faced with the brutal honesty that
this artist
brings forth. To place one’s inner being so naked for all to view takes
tremendous strength and fortitude. Judgment day is always feared by
those who
bear the cross. Will we be crucified or embraced; loved or distained?
The
journey is one of faith, and not a passage way that many would venture
through
to the other side, or even attempt to understand. For those who survive
the
journey, the treasures are boundless. The innocence of a
child should be protected by the angels
above, but at times the evil spirits descend on the blessed child who
might
give rise to their greatest challenge. Bind the wings before they can
take
flight. Dampen the spirit and bury the soul, never to rise again.
Somehow, the
gifted child perseveres and attempts flight with its broken wings;
always struggling
to soar the skies despite its tether to the ground. Many years of
learning and healing are to be
invested before the humbled spirit gains its strength and power to
endure and
rise above the flames that might engulf if left unattended. While the
scars
remain, the shackles are finally released and the new unbound freedom
inspires
the innermost soul. |
Religions of Life![]() |
A special friend on our
same journey opts out, no longer able
to bear the harsh judgment of society anymore. Unable to meet the
expectations
of parents, he finds a different path to acceptance. Left empty and
feeling
eternal guilt, the questions brought forth remain unanswered; the inner
dialogue never finding resolution. Why
did you leave me alone? Did you not love me enough to stay here on
earth with
me and share all that we had to live together? What lesson did you want
me to
learn as I felt I let you down? I should have done something more to
save you.
You chose the easy road, but I will persevere . . . albeit lonely. It’s
not likely
anyone will come along who might understand, let alone approve; so it’s
best to
retreat underground. Let me put on my mask so that I can hide, as it’s
best not
to take a similar route. Something tells me that I need to endure; that
my
mission is not yet fulfilled. Please be my guiding light to the
promised land.
Help me cross the golden bridge over the dark, turbulent waters and the
murky
depths below. Help me to find the answers. Help me to find the truth. Indeed, the self
portrait drawn is a clown; outwardly happy
but deeply saddened within. The layers of heavy makeup cake the face,
concealing
the darkness hidden inside. The painted smile is merely a façade
created for
the outward world to see; underneath fighting back the unbearable tears
that threaten
to well up and spill over. The mask must be peeled away layer by layer,
much
like the skin of an onion; stinging the eyes until a tear finally
manages to
fall silently down. Eventually, streams will wash away the layers piled
on top
to reveal a superficial level of reality. Cleansing the inner soul will
take
even more time. Screaming from the inside to just be who we are, we
succumb to
the demands placed upon us by society. Our wings are cropped and the
weight of
our burden appears insurmountable. |
In Barely
Across
(1977), Perks removes
the superficial layers of the mask, hoping that true happiness will be
his
reward. He realizes that he has barely chipped the surface of the outer
walls
that protect the child locked in a self-imposed prison. Escape can only
be
found in the relentless chiseling of a sharp pencil that moves its way
effortless
and endlessly across the paper . . . a canvas that reflects the
struggles
between good and evil. The hand is now dismembered from the rest of the
body,
seeking to escape that which the brain has been programmed to believe.
Must the heart acquiesce as well? A mere
shadow of the true self; is it possible to erase away the pain? Even
when
erased, the canvas is a clouded with grey. The picture remains elusive
despite
the intricate weave. Now tangled in tethers, freedom eludes the
saddened spirit.
|
|
![]() |
In Struggling Success (1978), Perks continues up the ladder to perceived success, but is disappointed that it’s not the promised stairway to heaven believed. In all actuality, the ladder climbed is down into hell. The rose garden offers no promises of a sweet and fragrant refuge. Instead, it is a minefield of thorns that draw blood when touched in the entangled mass. Each prickly thorn is a tiny syringe drawing out the energy from within, and poisoning the weakened spirit from the innermost soul. |
In Save
the Children (1979), the devil
entices the lost child into
another disparate world, offering up temptations along the way . . .
drugs, sex
and money. Venturing off course, we soon realize that the medicine we
hope will
assuage our fears poisons us even further. Darkness descends, and yet
we cannot
hide. There is no where that we feel safe, loved and accepted for who
we are
truly meant to be. Why isn’t that good enough, we question? Still a
child we
ask, “Where is our savior”? The cross gets heavier and the burden
greater to
bear.
|
|
![]() |
Perhaps to forego our
dreams is reality. Perks accepts the
role society dictates, but in Looking
Ahead
(1980), he still holds
on to the hope that the future may bring fulfillment. The road to
travel is
long and winding, without an end in sight though. The money in the hand
is
inconsequential to the treasure to be found at the end of the rainbow.
Will the
sun set before it is too late? Before he can forge ahead, he must first
take
care of his failing health. A diabetic with a life sentence, can he
overcome
the odds? The physical body requires nurturing before the heart and
soul can
reign. Life is a delicate balancing act where the scales of justice
don’t
always appear weighted correctly. The chain is heavier on one side, we
fear;
scales imbalance by the chains that weigh us down. |
In order to be free,
and to look with hope to the future, we
must first confront the conflicts and demons
from our past. Always searching for the love of our parents, we search
for
other ways to replace that which we feel is unfulfilled. A
mother’s love and nurturing is at the core
of the soul. In Conflicts
and Freedoms (1981), Perks
searches for a woman who can fill this void and make
him whole, but realizes she does not exist except in fantasy. Could one
woman
ever meet all his needs, he asks? So, he looks to one who fulfills his
passion,
to one who fulfills his intellect, and to one who sustains equilibrium
in a more
pragmatic life. The angles of the
triangle are not right for forming a full circle that unites love in
its purest
form. Severing parts of the self from
the whole, keeps one from finding the kindred spirit that speaks to the
body,
mind and soul. Our sense of unity and completeness, in its ultimate
resolve, is
drawn from within. While another special person can bring fulfillment,
they
cannot unite that which is disjointed on the inside. The lesson learned
is
invaluable. Only we hold the key to our inner happiness. We must muster
our
strength to unlock the door and accept the person who has been lost
inside for
so many years, and shed so many painful tears. |
![]() |
The path traveled is rarely a straight line pointing to our destination. Living well is about the journey as our measurements change. I was examining my life with a magnifying glass in 1982. I discovered my pencil could reveal my cluttered confusion and maybe help erase it. I was becoming ever more frustrated waiting to express the artist inside. I was preparing to finally indulge my artistic gifts. I was not sure of any final destination. My conflict tempted me into a dark twilight of poisonous delusions and drugs. It was a CON game of lies and a detour from rational thought. I found a spiritual energy that tapped into a source of healing. The darkness ended as I cleansed my body of toxic chemicals. I made my leap ahead and found my light. My 30 year detour was a meandering path to be here now as this artist. The buried treasures in my time capsule have been unlocked with the dawning of Resurrection and Eyes of Gods. DREAMS -
CONtemporary CONfusion 1982 - 1983
|
CON temporary![]() |
The Great Eraser 1982 – I discovered my
pencil was like a new
best friend with a magic wand. My pencil was trying to erase the
shadows and fears
illustrated by the Religions of Life. This new set of tools made me
feel
stronger. I set forth with my great
eraser to repair the tattered and torn pieces of my life. It seemed
such an
obvious self realization. I had a solution to dealing with the torture
I
inflicted living between two worlds. I transported myself beyond my
business
with my magic pencil. I felt like a genie set free from captivity. I
began an
exploration into color. This first picture had less clutter and
darkness than all
previous ones. I was working a much larger canvass. There were spaces
of light
separating the fragmented pieces of this jig saw puzzle. I was drawing
in the
evenings after work in Denver. It was a satisfying way to conclude my
days. I
would wake feeling refreshed. |
|
|
![]() |
Compose Yourself 1982 - I see myself as an
artist wearing
a French barrette. I was discovering myself while drawing the inner
reflections
of my life. Could I learn to draw the visualizations of a new future?
So many
questions left unanswered. I was searching to find a new direction.
Businessman
by day and artist by night seemed unsustainable. I drew a new self
image to
explore where the journey might take me. Starving was the word that
preceded
artist in the echoes of my parents. My business as a clothing rep
continued to
prosper. I felt undefined. I bought a house. I bought a new car. I had
an empty
feeling with my composition. Who is the YOU in my YOU-niverse? |
|
|
![]() |
DETOURS Alien Attacks
1982 – The dark days were
approaching.
The “alien” attacked my conflict possessing my vulnerable discontent. I
began a
dual identity. Businessman by day and artist by endless night. I was
introduced
to cocaine by an artist named Harm von Holden. Purest of the uncut pure
he
called “Rainbow”. The poison allowed me to draw all night and function
all day.
I rarely slept. My world was a dark
twilight zone. The bright colors faded back into shades of black and
grey. The
strokes of my pencil were heavy handed and angry. I funneled everything
I was
into the crystallized rainbows shimmering off the piles of cocaine on
my Betty
Boop mirror. My hands were black with ebony pencil. My finger tips were
stained
yellow from the tobacco is used to calm my rush. My stomach could only
hold
more alcohol if I puked. I kept a bucket by my bedside praying I could
sleep
before the break of day. My body was covered in sweat as I lay in my
water bed
waiting for the chest pains to end. I did more coke to stop feeling so
horrible. I got out of bed in the
morning with another line. I had a Bloody Mary for breakfast to bite
the dog. I
continued to function in my daytime business world waiting for the
demons of night
to mask my pain. |
Voice Hear Today 1982 – Two months of
daily cocaine abuse
was killing me. I only slept after drinking myself beyond vomit and
cold
sweats. My inner voice of good conscious
knew it was time to move beyond this twilight existence. The rose
began to wither on the vine. I felt
like a ghost of a man as I was now erasing myself from the page. I
needed
purification and soul food. I felt beyond awful. I had poisoned myself.
I began
my withdrawal by keeping my cocaine in a safety deposit box beyond my
night
gallery. Placing a limit was my first baby step. |
![]() |
![]() |
Prey 1982 – I admitted to
myself that cocaine was
an evil toxic serpent preying on my well being. Prayer became a
constant
companion. I heard the words “Give it to God” growing up as a Catholic.
Prey
illustrates Jesus holding the coke grinder in his hand next to a snake.
I started the cleansing process to wash myself
clean and get sober. I ground up my final gram and filled my bottle for
the 16
hour drive to California. I had the time for a months rest in December.
I
needed to be away from the friends I partied with. I removed myself
from the
source of the cocaine until I felt strong enough to resist temptation.
|
![]() |
Starring Role As Me
1983 - I returned to
Denver in January of 1983. I was back to sober and ready to move beyond
the
shadows of despair. I was thankful for the business I had grown in
Denver. I
still wanted to be an artist somehow. I felt trapped by my successful
business.
I was ready to accept living the life I created. I did not see an easy
way out.
I owned a business, drove a new sports car and owned a nice house. I
allowed my
“stuff” to hold me hostage to life as a sales rep. My father was so
proud of me
for living a life he assigned value to. I found myself praying often. I
wanted
to avoid the discontent and dis-ease that lured me into the cocaine
trap. I
returned to California for Easter in 1983 for a recharge. I knew my
family
would help me continue to find my way. On Good Friday I was
bitten by a brown reclose
spider. I returned to Denver after Easter. I nearly lost my leg from
the
narcroused (dead) tissue caused from the spider bite. My fever
continued for
two months. I was hospitalized for two weeks in June over my birthday.
I once
again had time to reflect on my priorities. Feeling lucky to be alive
made my
decision easy. I sold everything and returned to California by
Thanksgiving. I
placed myself into the Starring Role as ME. And the adventure begins.
25 years
as a photographer. Doors and windows opened before me. What a FUN way
to be an
instant artist. |
|
Over the
Rainbow 2002![]() |
Resurrection - Oils
on Canvass 2012![]() |
|
|
Eyes
of Gods - Madonna - Oils on Canvass 2012![]() |
In his work, Resurrection (2011 - 2012), Perks
finds
the culmination of all the lessons learned. The palette chosen is no
longer
dark or shaded. Instead, the colors of the rainbow bring forth the
dreams
finally realized. The tapestry now weaved is of the finest golden
threads,
illuminating the world below in the warmth and light of its halo. The
demons are
released and the inner self is finally at peace. So much has been
learned now
that the truth prevails. Now it’s time to impart the wisdom gained to
those
misguided and lost venturing down their own lonely path. One cannot
take the
journey for them, but one can help them to see the light where dreams
can be
fulfilled. It is not an easy path to travel, but revelation finally
frees the
spirit, and hence the beauty within. Each day awakens anew. We have
been
resurrected, at last. .....(Janine L. Williams) |
In Conclusion Here is my timeline. I finished Tensions in Balance at 22. I took a 33 year journey including detours to arrive at 55. My full circle moment has arrived in perfect time. I will unveil what I began in hiding with a pen name of Disc Skys. My unspoken feelings have remained potent in the words of a thousand pictures. They have found their voice. My story has spent years as buried treasure in Grandmas steamer trunk. The Disc Skys of my 20’s has risen to be embraced by Brad Perks. Disc Skys helped make me who I am. Ageless spiritual wisdom draws upon the reflections of a lifetime. The harmony of a life in balance is now resurrected. I welcome my journey with the brilliance of peace and self love. I can feel the universe sparking the life within all we call living. My candle pierces the shadows of once dark despair. I have weathered the storms of desparation. I know the sun continues to shine beyond dark storm clouds we can rise above. This is my new old beginning to end.. This is me being this artist as I recreate my new old horizon again.. Soulful Journey forth in faith my friends http://www.bradperks.com Help sponsor this message of Hope. Signed 8 x 12 inch print sets (18 pictures ) are available for a donation of $500 Send check and address to Brad Perks 4055 Kimberly Pl Concord, CA 94521. |
|
|
Napa Valley |
Artwork |
Brad Perks Lightscapes Studio Gallery 4055 Kimberly Place Concord CA 94521 925. 680-1024 |
. |